401 replies to this topic

[AnotherMind]

FH that is absolutely astonishing - what a fine tightrope you have to walk now.

So Cymbalta altered your endochrine system?

[fishinghat]

Hi Anothermind

 

You are right. The Cymbalta altered my hypothalamus/pituitary/testosterone system. At this time they are really sure how the medicine effects it but it is believed to be related to changes to the nerve circuits in the hypothalamus and pituitary. I have to go in for blood testosterone blood tests routinely. Could be worse though. Cymbalta leaves 'scars' on everyone, just in different ways.

[tria]

FH - Thanks for bravely sharing that symptom and I'm so sorry you have to deal with it. It just boggles the mind as to what this drug is doing to our minds and bodies!

 

AM - yes I also have soft tissue pain.  In fact, I've said the same thing about it hurting to wear clothes.   Ironically, I started the Cymbalta to help with muscle pain.  I thought it helped at first then the pain kept getting worse, and since I started weaning down from 20mg, it's gotten worse than ever.  Reading these posts makes me hopeful that once I get off this stuff, the pain will settle down.  Even if it just goes back to the level it was before I started the Cymbalta, I will be happy!  I can't say "the girls" have had any pain, although they have gotten larger.  Not real happy with that especially since wearing a bra is quite painful on my shoulders and around my rib cage. My hormonal cycle is also definitely screwed up.  I have the worst PMS ever!!  Almost from the middle of my cycle til the end of my period, every symptom I have is magnified like 100 times!

 

xman - Thanks for your post.  It gives me hope that my pain may ease once I can wean off the Cymbalta.  I've had worsening muscle pain, joint pain, stiffness, neuralgia.  When I started weaning down from 20, the pain kept getting worse and I thought oh no, what if it had been helping the pain all this time.  But after reading yours and other posts here, I believe that it's the drug and weaning off it that is making the pain worse.  Again, thanks for your post.  It gives me hope! 

[AnotherMind]

Tria - we have had such similar patterns with Cymbalta (before and after) ! - I went on it for major depressive disorder and fibromyalgia and over time the pain became stranger and far more magnified. Pms through the roof, and like you say, from middle of cycle til end of period. My periods also became quite sporadic (which may be my age or may be the chronic stress I developed) I had never had such a problem - at one point had periods every 2 weeks - eeek.

 

 

I hope it all settles down too - Im sure this is one of those drugs that will be looked back upon as a blithely perscribed disaster.

and as you say FH, it leaves a trail of scars in it's wake.

[xman]

We have talked about what this drug does to intimacy. Others report it to be temporary. The jury is still out on this one for me. Will it ever be better? rhetorical. My better sense tells me this too will pass. But in the midst of it, I'm not so convinced.

[FiveNotions]

You know, xman, this may, for me, be a "benefit" of being single and not in an intimate relationship as I go through this process..... to have that intimacy and then have this drug take it away....even if for a brief time.....oy.....I choose to believe that the healing is, indeed, happening within you, even if not at a level you can perceive yet.....our brains are delicate, complex and extraordinary, and incredibly resourceful and resilient.... they are designed, intended, to be healthy, to maintain our bodies and selves as healthy.....and they are able to heal and restore themselves, us, in seemingly miraculous ways.... time, patience, rest....give these to yourself....your self ....

Easier said than done, I know..... but lean on the rest of us here, let us help you carry your burden .... just as you help us to carry ours!

[fishinghat]

Xman

 

Sorry to hear the intimacy issue continues. How long you been off the Cymbalta now?

[AnotherMind]

Xman - I hope Im not being blunt here - but do you mean the loss of desire or function?

 

I certainly experienced a complete loss of desire on Cymblata - and now 5 weeks off - desire is returning. (which terrifies me to be honest)

[Xanazul]

17 weeks=4 months off Cymbalta.
Four weeks since my last post.
Missed you all, but the 4, 8, 12 weeks marks are gone, no much improvement and hope is in its lowest.
Deadly tired and aching many days, my awakenings that began to be horrible by week six continue to be awful with anxiety and fear striking right after I open my eyes very early in the morning and lasting well into the evening.
A few other perturbing issues do I have that add to the Cymbalta withdrawal. So I figure out that there were too many complains one day after other to the forum, some of them not necessarily Cymbalta reIated and that I might be misleading others with better chances for recovery rather than being of any help to anyone. So I decided to take a break (also not much time, feeling or ability to write).
I've just finished my updating on how things are going for all of you and met the newcomers to this dreadful journey.
Love to you all

[FiveNotions]

Xanazul, so glad you're back and posting an update! I've been worried about you!

Are you getting therapy at this point, and what about your psychiatrist and GP situation?

Are you able to discern what's related to the other med issues and what is, or might be, related to the cymbalta?

Are you taking anything to help you manage the anxiety?

[AnotherMind]

Good to hear from you xanazul - so sorry that the difficulty persists. That is deeply worrying.

[thismoment]

Xanazul

It's so good to hear from you!

I'm saddened to learn you are still struggling mightily in discontinuation. Has there been any improvement AT ALL during the past four weeks?

The depth of the daily horror you describe MUST be attenuated as it is creating a future you don't want to move toward. You are educated, trained, privileged, and fully able to access the depth of your great nation's medical resources-- please put yourself in their hands-- see where it goes; it can't make it worse than it is!

Consider that most challenging tenet of Mindfulness- surrender.

Take care.

[Xanazul]

At this point It is very difficult to me to differentiate what is going on.

I surenly have symptoms that are withdrawal related (muscle pain, feeling tired, early morning waking and anxiety). Muscle pain (not right arm pain any more) has improved although I have some bad days yet, I feel more tired than ever, specially in the evenings, and anxiety is killing me (benzos are not of any help, never had for me)

Now, anxiety and the hopelessness that carries along is the one I am most confused about.
Ten years ago as some of you may know I divorced from a multidrug addict (cocaine, alcohol...) and moral harasser, that made a hell of my life for more than 25 years.

As incredible and weird as it may sound I was not aware of the kind of hell as was living all that time. Was not depressed, nor was I anxious, had energy, raised my two loved daughters, had (have) loved friends, carried on a reasonable successful academic and research career and most of all I did enjoy life and living to its tiniest bit.

It all collapsed one day (not spontaneously) and I felt so bad that having not taked even a herbal sleep aid in all my life and being totally against psycopharms, I started Prozac which I took for six months until I started to feel better and thereafter weaned off without any symptoms. Three months later depression and anxiety came back and the antidepressant go round started, with periods were I have been "normal", with few or none side effects followed by asymptomatic withdrawals and relapses that I was unable to bear.

The question is, I never got to heal what it was so badly hurt and antidepressants do not heal (not me at least) they only as I probably said before to any of you put an anaesthetic bandage over the emotional wounds that continue to be full of unresolved pain and suffering below. Also I do not want depending on a pill for all my life, even if it has not many if at all side effects. Psychopharms are not insulin, BP medication or any other meds that are necessary and useful to treat chronic conditions.

Over these past ten years and specially these last six months on top of the old unresolved issues and unhealed wounds what I call echoes from the past and collateral damages have been hitting me badly, most of the times when I was out of the medication.
This is why I can not differentiate what is withdrawal and what is my old poor traumatized and unhealed self being retraumatized.

Mindfulness I have put all my hope on it. Have a MBCT therapist, went for a week course with Ronald Siegel (one of the reasons I've not posted during the last four weeks plus I had surgery for repairing the macular hole in my right eye) and I am commited to practice daily the exercises of formal meditation.

But the big paradox is that the core of mindfulness is not to expect anything but what you have. What I have been through all these years, what I am going through right now its so unbeareable that I can avoid neither the despair, nor the continuous and exhausting avoidance and searching for a way out or for any kind of hope, which in turn makes anxiety worse and worse.

TM, you are right, but surrender is a very difficult task for me, because I've never ever practiced in all my life.

[AnotherMind]

Xanazul - do you have a therapist who can support the mindfulness practice with you as you go through this? I'll just share with you that I also had old trauma (sexual and pyschological abuse) arise when i came to do mindfullness and it was vital that I had someone to assist me with the process rather than just 'sitting' with what arose - the pain of it was far to scary and precipitated, as you say " continuous and exhausting avoidance and searching for a way out..."

Ive never been a fan of surrender either - and I suspect that all my years of suppressing and coping led to an overwhelming back-log of anxiety that became dislodged by Cymbalta.

 

I really feel for you - it sounds REALLY hard. I hope you can access support to help you navigate this - mindfulness is an amazing tool, but I do feel that ability to 'just be' with what arises needs guidance outside of private practice and formal classes - otherwise one is faced with the erupting pandora's box of a lifetime's worth of complexity.

 

wishing you calm waters ahead.

[xman]

Xanazul-So very sorry to hear you are in this difficult place. I am your fan and am cheering you on...I am ever so hopeful the damage will be reparable over time. How much time? That is what I ponder though I know it is counterproductive.

 

Sorry to be late answering question (think I am in a similar state as Xanazul)  from above, but regarding intimacy--both desire and function. Not longer there.

[thismoment]

"Surrender" is a misleading word. What is meant is more like profound acceptance and non-resistance toward what IS. Somehow 'surrender' implies relinquishing dignity- that's not it. Sometimes continuing to fight, to aggressively resist is part of the problem.

[xman]

Like it, ThisMoment.

[tria]

Xanazul - I am relatively new here and know a little about mindfulness but not a heck of a lot.  I've practiced a lot of relaxation exercises and meditation of the years however.  One thing I've found useful is to focus on one thing at a time.  For example, if my mind starts racing, I will think "Right now, I am posting on the Cymbalta forum.  That is all I need to think about."  And I do my best to give my full attention to the task right in front of me, whether it's putting on my socks, reading a book, etc.  Maybe it sounds kinda silly, but it helps me.

[fishinghat]

Xanazul-So very sorry to hear you are in this difficult place. I am your fan and am cheering you on...I am ever so hopeful the damage will be reparable over time. How much time? That is what I ponder though I know it is counterproductive.

 

Sorry to be late answering question (think I am in a similar state as Xanazul)  from above, but regarding intimacy--both desire and function. Not longer there.

 

The drs say hold on til 2 or 3 months after coming off Cymbalta. It may return. Do not start testosterone replacement therapy til then. Once you start testosterone the testicles begin to shut down natural production of testosterone and you will be on therapy the rest of your life. There are some good supplements you can start when you are done with Cymbalta that will stimulate natural testosterone production. Again try the supplements 2 or 3 months and if no success by then they will not help. I will find my list and post them.

[fishinghat]

Some light reading for you Xman. lol

 

http://www.nowloss.c...ng-steroids.htm

[Wagtail]

What about supplements for us gals ...we're suffering from no libido too !...:-(

[FiveNotions]

Hi wagtail, how are you feeling today?

[fishinghat]

What about supplements for us gals ...we're suffering from no libido too !...:-(

Well the only thing I found was;

Exercise (DUH)

Less stress

Balance hormones

Eat more good fats (eg olive oil, omega 3) because the absorb more estrogen.

 

Not much there.

[FiveNotions]

Wagtail, any and all supps you take or consider need to be discussed with your doc....you've had so much trouble getting the meds sorted out and are working on the anxiety, I'm not sure worrying about your libido is top of the list quite yet....especially not if you're thinking hormone supps.....gotta check with the doc on that fo' sure. ;-)

[Wagtail]

Well the only thing I found was;
Exercise (DUH)
Less stress
Balance hormones
Eat more good fats (eg olive oil, omega 3) because the absorb more estrogen.
 
Not much there.

Well f/h you've made me laugh so that's a good thing ... Especially the " LESS STRESS " .
Exercise is something that I will do more of as soon as possible ...
Can't do much about the hormones @ this stage either & I do eat a lot of the good fats ..

I guess my days of " SEX GODESS " are numbered ....lol

[Wagtail]

Wagtail, any and all supps you take or consider need to be discussed with your doc....you've had so much trouble getting the meds sorted out and are working on the anxiety, I'm not sure worrying about your libido is top of the list quite yet....especially not if you're thinking hormone supps.....gotta check with the doc on that fo' sure. ;-)

You're right FN , I won't be adding anything new to my diet anytime soon ..still trying to get the dosage of Clonidine sorted out . I have a referral , as I mentioned in a previous post to have a DNA test done that will show what medications I'm intolerant to. As soon as I get this recent bout of anxiety / fear under control I will make it a priority .
I love that your concerned for me , you are very compassionate as well as very intelligent ...

[FiveNotions]

I'm not so sure of that, Wagtail.....based on your avatar pic, you are one gorgeous gal, with a dynamite smile! :-)

[FiveNotions]

How are you feeling today, Wagtail?

[Wagtail]

You know, xman, this may, for me, be a "benefit" of being single and not in an intimate relationship as I go through this process..... to have that intimacy and then have this drug take it away....even if for a brief time.....oy.....I choose to believe that the healing is, indeed, happening within you, even if not at a level you can perceive yet.....our brains are delicate, complex and extraordinary, and incredibly resourceful and resilient.... they are designed, intended, to be healthy, to maintain our bodies and selves as healthy.....and they are able to heal and restore themselves, us, in seemingly miraculous ways.... time, patience, rest....give these to yourself....your self ....
Easier said than done, I know..... but lean on the rest of us here, let us help you carry your burden .... just as you help us to carry ours!

I'm not so sure of that, Wagtail.....based on your avatar pic, you are one gorgeous gal, with a dynamite smile! :-)

Ahhhhh FN , photos can hide a multitude of flaws ha ha ... But I thank you & accept your lovely compliment it feels nice .
I do judge myself harshly & have been told that this is a part of my problem , I accept everyone else for who & what they are but expect perfection from myself !... I judge myself very harshly . My dear husband is constantly telling me this ... :-)

[Wagtail]

How are you feeling today, Wagtail?

FN's , I'm actually feeling a " tiny " bit better .. I will cling to it for as long as it lasts ... :-)