67 replies to this topic

[Kat1523]

These mood swings are giving me whiplash!

[thismoment]

I once knew a girl who had a long pony tail and her mood swings were so severe that she flogged herself to death.

[TryinginFL]

LOL, TM!

[thismoment]

Hi TFL

 

It's nice to see you doing so well. Many of us share the same bizarre symptoms- it's a kind of secret language.

 

"How are the black floaters today?"

 

"Better, thanks. But you know sometimes they show up in a crying jag in the lineup at the supermarket, and sometimes in church. People look at me that way. Sometimes I can't tell the floaters from the tears!"

 

"I know what you mean. The other day I got black floaters in the mall, and I tried to wave them away like flies. Well I smacked this woman in front of me and I said oh dear I'm so sorry. At the same time I got that liquid storm in my lower GI. I grabbed my stomach and made that familiar humped-over beetling she's-really-gotta-go shuffle towards the washroom! And just as I opened the door to the stall I got this robe swish out of the corner of my eye- kind of through the black floaters! Not now! Not now! I was mumbling- jeez. And just as I was hanging my purse on the back of the door I got a frickin brain zap! Jeez will this ever end? I nearly didn't make it! So there I am sittin there- black floaters, robe swishes, intestinal storm, and a brain zap! What next? Will this ever end?"

 

"Oh dear. Black floaters, robe swishes, storm in your stomach, brain zap all at once! Oh dear, good thing the crying jag didn't hit! I've had that. And sometimes I get this short-term mem. . . short-term mem. . . short-term mmm. . . short-t m. . . sh mm. . .  oh dear."

[TryinginFL]

TM....very well said -- you truly have a gift!

[fishinghat]

"Better, thanks. But you know sometimes they show up in a crying jag in the lineup at the supermarket, and sometimes in church. People look at me that way. Sometimes I can't tell the floaters from the tears!"

 

Speaking of how people percieve 'us'. I remember a trip to see the wife's family a few months after I got back on my feet from the nervous breakdown. My wife had made them well aware of what I had been through and that I was OK but just a little over reactive to load noises and such. Well the first 2 days went great. If they went out doing the tourist thing then I just sat around home taking it easy but other than that all was fine.

 

Well, on the evening of the third day her whole family was there and we were preparing for a big dinner that evening. During dinner I was pestered by a rather determined mosquitoe. I waited patiently, very still, for the mosquitoe to land so I could kill it. As I was setting motionless I began to be aware that some had stopped eating and were staring at me. About that time the mosquitoe landed on my left ear, I deftly swung my left hand and killed the mosquitoe. Of coarse everyone saw me apparently hit myself in the head!! There was a cumulative gasp of shock, silverware dropped on the table and a look on there face that maybe I was about to eat the dog. "I very calmly looked at them and said 'It was only a misquitoe!". A couple giggles and the rest of the visit went without incident. To this day, everytime I see a member of her family they always tell me story all over again about the mad man who hits himself in the head and we all laugh about it. Great people to have in the family.

[Kat1523]

Think I'm coming out of a cloud, but I am scared at night and very paranoid. I also feel that when I am on the verge of falling asleep, if I don't jolt myself out of it, I will never wake up?!

[FiveNotions]

Kat, thanks for mentioning the night fear....I had it, maybe around the third or fourth week off? Just like you, when my head started to have brief periods of clarity.....I was sort of "hyper aware" as my brain started to function again, but without the poison....I slept with a table light on....which, now that I think about it, is totally weird because I was also having optic neuritis so bad that I had to blindfold myself to block out every bit of light....

Yikes....

So, what I guess I was doing was making sure that even though I was shielding my eyes from all light, the fact that there was a light on...that I couldn't even see.....kept the boogey man at bay....

But I didn't have the fear of falling asleep and not waking up....

Chalk it all up to the poison....and the wonderful news is that you're coming out of the cloud!

[Kat1523]

Yes I had those really beautiful 3 days and then fell hard for 4 days and now I am slowly climbing out. I have noticed that it is extremely important not to surround yourself with negativity from others or bad situations because it seems to intensify the your own feelings of despair! I've resorted to wearing headphones at work so I don't listen to the bickering, it helped out tremendously!

[FiveNotions]

I am just astounded ...and in awe...that you are able to work while going through this!

You are a determined, resilient woman! Keep going!

[Gran23]

Good morning to All.  Unless I have a REALLY bad day, tonight will be the last of my Cymbalta (devil) doses.  My mood has been pretty good since last weekend, no heart palpitations, moderate muscle and joint aches and pains, only a mild nagging headache and occasional nausea.  This has not been easy but I get through everyday one way one another.  I'm taking several supplements and drinking my "Tonic" every morning.   I think I've had it easy compared to my friends on here. I'm happy to be at this point in my journey and this forum has been a lifesaver.  Reading through all the old postings has helped me to feel I have support.  I'm not alone.  I still have some issues, ups and downs, and questions.  Like why would a doctor not let his patient know that it may be hard to withdraw from the medication?  How can a drug company still be making and promoting a substance that is so dangerous to so many?  Why is it so easy to get a prescription for something so dangerous and so hard to get the help and information needed to discontinue?  

 

Everyone have a good day. 

 

Gran23

[TryinginFL]

Gran23...

 

 

HOORAY!!!  I wish you luck and support as you begin to rid your body of this poison

Please keep us posted...

 

Hugs and Prayers,

Liz  

[DMIAHAWK]

Think I'm coming out of a cloud, but I am scared at night and very paranoid. I also feel that when I am on the verge of falling asleep, if I don't jolt myself out of it, I will never wake up?!

I am going through this very same thing!!!!

[thismoment]

Kat1523 and DIMIAHAWK

 

What you describe is textbook anxiety. Do you have something to keep it down- a benzodiazepine or similar?

 

It is very destabilizing at night, and the night is the most anxious time of the day for people.

[FiveNotions]

Gran, that's wonderful!

How are the eye symptoms doing? I got lost in my own little issues and never sent you the "remedies" I used....

[DMIAHAWK]

TM yes I have xanax and use it when needed. Helps me sleep too on rough nights. Wish it were a long term med.


FN can I get more on the eye remmedies you speak of? I am having a ton of eye issues

[Gran23]

Gran, that's wonderful!

How are the eye symptoms doing? I got lost in my own little issues and never sent you the "remedies" I used....

Actually, I've had problems with my eyes since yesterday afternoon.  Feels like sudden little stabs.  I put warm compress on them for a while yesterday afternoon.  This helps for a while.  I also use saline eye drops because they are cool and make my eyes feel good for a few minutes. 

 

Thanks for asking.

 

Gran23

[FiveNotions]

Here's the first post I made about optic neuritis...it includes my over-excited discovery that Gello contains glycine, that l-glycine deficiency contributes to neuritis...including optic...and that I'd been having a huge craving for Gello.....my amazed reaction was mainly due to the fact that my body was craving a food that contained what it needed to heal. :-)

https://www.cymbalta...optic +neuritis

And a comment I added to another thread...

https://www.cymbalta...sion#entry38970

And a post by Fishinghat

https://www.cymbalta...p=42045&hl=pain

In addition to Gello, in order to be sure I was getting enuf glycine, I started taking, and still do, l-glycine..1000 mg....in the morning, with the rest of my supps....I tried taking a second pill later in the day, but it seemed to mess up my sleep...which was already bad....

I also found an online article, not scientific, but informative, about neuritis in general and what other supps in addition to glycine help....

http://www.moondrago...s/neuritis.html

In terms of soothing treatments, at first I used hot compresses...those gel,packs that you can freeze or warm in the microwave....I also had to dim the lights, dim my computer screen, and wear a blindfold when I was at home...day and night .....and, always sunglasses...indoors and outdoors at first, then just outdoors as it was improving....

Then, at some point, I discovered that cold packs felt better...who knows....I was just doing what felt the best to my eyes....

At first, for about 10 days I think, it was almost constant and excruciating pain....then intermittent and less severe...It has faded now...and only hits when I'm overtired .....and I'm still sensitive to light, but not as much...and, my vision seems blurry at times...am sure my prescription for glasses has changed but am waiting to have it checked until I'm further away from my poison quit date....

[DMIAHAWK]

I too am horribly sensitive to light. I wear contacts and find myself taking then out after about 4 hrs. Severe red eyes, and also feel like vision has changed. I am due for an exam now, not sure if I should go.

[FiveNotions]

Dmiahawk, well, my first suggestion would be to stop wearing the contacts...optic neuritis can cause changes in the shape of the eyeball, so your eyes need all the "room to breathe" that you can give them....do you have a pair of regular eyeglasses you can use?

Also clip-on or prescription sunglasses?

I'd also wait a bit longer before getting new contacts and eyeglasses.....my vision has changed several time over the previous six months since I quit....

And right now, I seem to be having side effects from the sertraline (Zoloft) I started last Friday...I've posted about it over on the ssri/snri thread....for me, the sertraline is another poison....I'm getting off it fast...hopefully...if it gives me problems when I first start taking it, what'll happen when I quit...sheesh!

[DMIAHAWK]

Yep I have a pair of glasses thank goodness. I just can't hardly stand them on my face. I am constantly taking them off. But you are right, I think I need to leave the contacts off.

[tria]

Kat1523 & FN - I too have the "night fear".  I don't sleep with a light on, but I've taken to falling asleep on the couch with the tv on (something I never ever did before) then going up to bed in the middle of the night.  As soon as it starts to get dark outside, I start to feel uncomfortable and uneasy.  I always used low lighting because of my migraines but now I'm turning on overhead lights every night.  I also have the terrified feeling though mine is usually worse in the morning, I will be afraid to get out of bed or afraid to leave the house.  And there are times when I constantly feel like something bad is going to happen or I have a recurring fear that I am going to die. When this happens, I keep repeating to myself "everything is fine, this is a side effect of the withdrawal."  I take Xanax as well, and I try to do breathing exercises and short periods of relaxation exercises.

[fishinghat]

When I came off Cymbalta all my standard withdrawal symptoms were gone in about 6 weeks and were replaced with this overwhelming fear. I actually slept with the lights on a stack of blankets in the fetal position in the corner of my bedroom. My fear however lasted 24 hours a day. I fought it like you are, 'it is only the withdrawal'. Did not help any. My dr tried 3 meds before they found one that 'helped'. Finally after 3 months of constant fear I went back on a ssri (antidepressant) to get control.

[DMIAHAWK]

I too am now in fear in the evenings. All my issues began when I started getting anxiety before bed. Sleeping with the light on, tv on, setting an alarm for two hrs later to make sure I was ok. Now I am just popping xanax before bed to get through. The low dose is not working well now. Not sure it's ok to take 2 instead of one .5 pill. Making an app for next week, I think it's back to yet another daily med. Read good things a out Prozac. Citalopram, escitalopram, and cymbalta all did not agree with me. I give up...

[TryinginFL]

Dmiahawk - I was on Xanax (1 mg tabs) with the RX for 2/day.  Can't imagine how taking 1 mg would be a bad thing - think it would help you get to sleep...

[Amybc7]

Yes I had those really beautiful 3 days and then fell hard for 4 days and now I am slowly climbing out. I have noticed that it is extremely important not to surround yourself with negativity from others or bad situations because it seems to intensify the your own feelings of despair! I've resorted to wearing headphones at work so I don't listen to the bickering, it helped out tremendously!

 

Kat - You hit home with me about the headphones!  A major factor in taking some leave time was this!  I felt completely unable to handle my coworkers and the "issues" that accompany that.  Office drama suddenly was unbearable and the mood swings didn't help.  Great problem solving on your part!

[DMIAHAWK]

Dmiahawk - I was on Xanax (1 mg tabs) with the RX for 2/day. Can't imagine how taking 1 mg would be a bad thing - think it would help you get to sleep...

Was thinking it would be ok.. but I worry about everything now

[TryinginFL]

Dmiahawk...   take the 1 mg for sleep until you see the Dr.  I think you will be able to think more clearly with more sleep!

 

You can discuss it when you see him/her...

[fishinghat]

I agree with TFL. That low a dosage shouldn't hurt anything as long as you are not taking a different benzo as well.

[DMIAHAWK]

Thank you!! Got An app today thank goodness. Last night was horrible