My journey off of Cymbalta
#61
Posted 25 September 2008 - 01:07 PM
I hope you are able to enjoy the weekend with your grandchild. Glad you're doing so well.
Tam
#62
Posted 26 September 2008 - 05:33 PM
I'm trying to enjoy my weekend with my grandson but having a wee bit of trouble. Getting ready to write about it in my daily post. Hope your weeekend is great and keep up the good work1
Perry
#63
Posted 26 September 2008 - 06:32 PM
Today has been awful. I have had no patience with him at all! After my wife went to work it was just him and me. Everything that went wrong pissed me off and every time that I overreacted I felt worse. I feel so stupid writing this. I got mad when he pooped in his pull ups. That was stupid of me because I know he is still being potty trained. By the time I got him changed our cereal had become soggy… then he didn’t like it! You can image how mad that mad me. To top it off, as I cleaned the kitchen up, he pooped again! Every time I corrected him for doing something he shouldn’t, he cried for his mommy. Why was I so mad? I feel totally inadequate as a paw paw. Mature people don’t act this way. What the hell is wrong with me? Did I mention when we laid down for a nap, not only didn’t he sleep, but when I dozed off he fell out of the bed because he was rolling around like a maniac? Of course he went to crying, which led to wanting mommy, which led to me calling her for the third time today. She calmed him down and he said he wanted to go outside and play. As I was putting his shoes on, I smelled something all too familiar… yes… more poop… the worse one yet. Luckily after we went outside things improved and by 4:30 my wife got home. I’m not proud of the way I behaved today. I would like to think I’m just stressed out and having withdrawals. I’m sure that’s part of the reason… the rest is my fault. I wrote this long story because I feel it’s important. If I’m gunna come on here and celebrate my successes, then I think its only right that I write about my shortcomings. You wanna know the best part? Every time I got upset today and I was muttering stuff to myself… when I would look over to my grandson, he would be enjoying whatever he was doing because he has enough sense to let things go. He didn’t continue to rehash wanting his mommy or paw paw being mad or stinky poop in his pants. The kids got more smarts than me! Maybe I’ll pay more attention to him.. Maybe we all should view more things the way children do… Bet we wouldn’t need as many meds. I feel better now… hope you do too.
Perry
#64
Posted 27 September 2008 - 05:21 PM
Perry
P.S. I am having some joint pain and stiffness, especially in my knees.
#66
Posted 28 September 2008 - 05:36 PM
Perry
#69
Posted 29 September 2008 - 01:01 PM
Perry
#70
Posted 30 September 2008 - 01:57 PM
Perry
#71
Posted 30 September 2008 - 04:16 PM
Just checking in on you. I was amazed at the ass kicking this drug doles out as we withdraw.May be worthwhile to go off completely as he head into the weekend so work schedule or other obilgations are at a minimum. I pushed myself to do things that had to get done but laying around is the way to go.
So you wrote you had some mild panic or anxiety last nite. Have you thought about non-medication ways to deal with those feelings? My old doc told me the best thing I could go learn was Zen...but alas, I do not have the money to study it. But I do keep relaxation tapes around to distract me and try to do physical exercise.
I still feel Xanax is ok as needed, even if its once a day every day. Some docs get nervous about dependence but I'm not an addict or abuser- I'm an anxiety patient. I know the current "first line" treatment for anxiety and depression is SSRIs but I am no longer sure I agree with using those drugs forever.
Anyway- hang in there, you will feel better and experience a wonderful clarity when this stuff is finally gone.
N-
#72
Posted 01 October 2008 - 12:08 PM
Hey Perry,
Just checking in on you. I was amazed at the ass kicking this drug doles out as we withdraw.May be worthwhile to go off completely as he head into the weekend so work schedule or other obilgations are at a minimum. I pushed myself to do things that had to get done but laying around is the way to go.
So you wrote you had some mild panic or anxiety last nite. Have you thought about non-medication ways to deal with those feelings? My old doc told me the best thing I could go learn was Zen...but alas, I do not have the money to study it. But I do keep relaxation tapes around to distract me and try to do physical exercise.
I still feel Xanax is ok as needed, even if its once a day every day. Some docs get nervous about dependence but I'm not an addict or abuser- I'm an anxiety patient. I know the current "first line" treatment for anxiety and depression is SSRIs but I am no longer sure I agree with using those drugs forever.
Anyway- hang in there, you will feel better and experience a wonderful clarity when this stuff is finally gone.
N-
Hi nossri4me,
Thanks for writing. The past two days it seems that my anxiety has increased somewhat. I really don't know why. I take Xanax twice a day for my anxiety but it's a really low dosage. The other thing is that I haven't been leaving the house much lately and when I don't drive often enough my agoraphobia starts to increase. It's just that since I began tapering off Cymbalta the brain zaps and stuff haven't made me feel like driving. Hopefully this evening I will push myself to at least drive around the block. The other thing thats on my mind is that I thought by now the clarity I so desparately seek would have returned. It's day 18 for me on only 15mgs of Cymbalta so I thought by now I would be feeling much better mentally. I'm starting to get the "what If" thinking that maybe it will never return. Any thoughts you may have on this would be greatly appreciated. Again, thank you very much for writing.
Sincerely,
Perry
#73
Posted 01 October 2008 - 02:08 PM
Perry
#74
Posted 01 October 2008 - 04:02 PM
I dont think you'll have clarity till the drug is completely gone for a couple of weeks. 15mg is 15mg. Work towards none of this stuff in your system and reassess yourself at two weeks "clean".
See if your doc will do higher doses of Xanax..what's your dose? Mine is 1 mg daily, most to the time it works.
As for the agoraphobia- lemme think, I have to run but will be back later.
N
#75
Posted 02 October 2008 - 07:00 PM
Hey Perry-
I dont think you'll have clarity till the drug is completely gone for a couple of weeks. 15mg is 15mg. Work towards none of this stuff in your system and reassess yourself at two weeks "clean".
See if your doc will do higher doses of Xanax..what's your dose? Mine is 1 mg daily, most to the time it works.
As for the agoraphobia- lemme think, I have to run but will be back later.
N
Hi nossri4me,
Thanks for writing. I need to hear that 15mgs is 15mgs. In my clogged mind I guess I figured that 15 mgs was almost none, but what you said makes perfect sense. I also take 1mg of Xanax daily. If you get a chance read my post from today... well I still need to write it but Day 45 will have some exciting news! Again, thank you very much. Your reply really gave me my sense of hope back and thats just what I needed.
Sincerely,
Perry
#76
Posted 02 October 2008 - 07:32 PM
Perry
#77
Posted 03 October 2008 - 03:05 PM
Perry
#78
Posted 04 October 2008 - 10:27 AM
Yay for you- you stopped. I bet by now you probably feel rather crappy. Sorry. Think of this as the last of the process but like a really bad case of the flu.
You mentioned your agoraphobia getting worse.
I suppose you dont have the energy to do much of anything but my best advice to you is you must do SOMETHING. If you don't you will find you have become one with your couch and four walls and your anxiety about leaving home is climbing.
So whats SOMETHING you can do? Not sure where you live but here's some ideas that dont demand much physical exercise yet let you practice tolerating anxiety outside the house: sitting through a quarter or more of a local high school football game. Lots of people to watch, lots going on and no real need to interact with anyone.Its usually free,too, one of my favorite things. Short walks in decent areas of your town. A mile takes 15-20 minutes. Its ok if its a park or a street.If you get tired, find someplace to sit and chill. The key is change of scenery. And being outside your home. I dont recommend the local mall or grocery store as those are annoying even on a good day. Learn simple deep breathing to self calm yourself too, I imagine along the way some therapist taught you this.( No breathing in paper bags either, you'l look like an idiot in public.And the cracking is annoying )
Just some thoughts. You can disagree, I'm ok with that too.
Remember: now you have stopped there is an official light at the end of the Cymbalta tunnel. The next days you will feel lousy but you will get through it. Rest, eat, ask the family to write you a pass cuz you don't feel good.
It will be okay. The world existed without Cymbalta for a looong time!
N
#79
Posted 04 October 2008 - 02:24 PM
Perry!
Yay for you- you stopped. I bet by now you probably feel rather crappy. Sorry. Think of this as the last of the process but like a really bad case of the flu.
You mentioned your agoraphobia getting worse.
I suppose you dont have the energy to do much of anything but my best advice to you is you must do SOMETHING. If you don't you will find you have become one with your couch and four walls and your anxiety about leaving home is climbing.
So whats SOMETHING you can do? Not sure where you live but here's some ideas that dont demand much physical exercise yet let you practice tolerating anxiety outside the house: sitting through a quarter or more of a local high school football game. Lots of people to watch, lots going on and no real need to interact with anyone.Its usually free,too, one of my favorite things. Short walks in decent areas of your town. A mile takes 15-20 minutes. Its ok if its a park or a street.If you get tired, find someplace to sit and chill. The key is change of scenery. And being outside your home. I dont recommend the local mall or grocery store as those are annoying even on a good day. Learn simple deep breathing to self calm yourself too, I imagine along the way some therapist taught you this.( No breathing in paper bags either, you'l look like an idiot in public.And the cracking is annoying )
Just some thoughts. You can disagree, I'm ok with that too.
Remember: now you have stopped there is an official light at the end of the Cymbalta tunnel. The next days you will feel lousy but you will get through it. Rest, eat, ask the family to write you a pass cuz you don't feel good.
It will be okay. The world existed without Cymbalta for a looong time!
N
Hey Nossri4me... you betcha I'm feeling crappy...lol flu like is a good way to describe it! It's even hard for me to sit here and try to write this but I had too. Your reply really made me feel better. just the thought of knowing I'm not alone helps alot. And your suggestions for helping my agoraphobia were spot on. The bag breathing thing gave me a much needed laff. i'm gunna try to rest as much as I can. Thanks for your words of encouragement. I'll talk to ya soon.
Perry
#80
Posted 04 October 2008 - 02:30 PM
Perry
#81
Posted 05 October 2008 - 03:23 PM
Day 47: 3rd day no Cymbalta. Had another rough night… couldn’t sleep and when I did had bad dreams. My head is buzzing like a chain saw today! But it’s ok… I’m gunna make it and it will be worth all of this. I have to get off the meds this time. I will be clear again! That is my goal! I am strong!... but pray for me anyway… this crap is hard! I appreciate it. I will check in tomorrow. It will be a better day then. If you are going through the same thing right now… hang in there… we will make it!
Perry
Ok, its day four for you. If your withdrawal is anything like mine was, day 4 is the HALFWAY point to feeling better (mine was bad for eight days, remember?)
So you mumble "yeah right, yay for me, this sucks".
It does suck, no doubt. Crawl back on the couch. Time is on your side.
Hang tough...
N-
#82
Posted 05 October 2008 - 06:06 PM
Hey Nossri4me.... It's always good to hear from you. Taking your advice... spending most of my day on couch. I'm hanging.Day 47: 3rd day no Cymbalta. Had another rough night… couldn’t sleep and when I did had bad dreams. My head is buzzing like a chain saw today! But it’s ok… I’m gunna make it and it will be worth all of this. I have to get off the meds this time. I will be clear again! That is my goal! I am strong!... but pray for me anyway… this crap is hard! I appreciate it. I will check in tomorrow. It will be a better day then. If you are going through the same thing right now… hang in there… we will make it!
Perry
Ok, its day four for you. If your withdrawal is anything like mine was, day 4 is the HALFWAY point to feeling better (mine was bad for eight days, remember?)
So you mumble "yeah right, yay for me, this sucks".
It does suck, no doubt. Crawl back on the couch. Time is on your side.
Hang tough...
N-
Perry
#83
Posted 05 October 2008 - 06:30 PM
Sincerely,
Perry
#85
Posted 06 October 2008 - 06:39 PM
Perry
#86
Posted 06 October 2008 - 08:28 PM
Your mood is
then :shock:
then
then :evil:
All in about five minutes time?
Ah, Cymbalta withdrawal.
It is truely is tougher than Chuck Norris.
And remember....Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the whole Earth away from him.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Just being stupid here. Obviously.
But seriously...YOU will feel better soon.
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. Can't wait till you join us us on the detoxed side. We saved you a seat.
N.
#87
Posted 07 October 2008 - 11:40 AM
Ah Perry.....
Your mood is
then :shock:
then
then :evil:
All in about five minutes time?
Ah, Cymbalta withdrawal.
It is truely is tougher than Chuck Norris.
And remember....Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the whole Earth away from him.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Just being stupid here. Obviously.
But seriously...YOU will feel better soon.
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. Can't wait till you join us us on the detoxed side. We saved you a seat.
N.
Nossri4me... you hit the nail on the head with the emotions! You also gave me a chuckle when I needed it most! Keep that seat warm for me. Don't know when I'll be taking it but really glad to know its there. Thank you for making my morning.
Sincerely,
Perry
#88
Posted 07 October 2008 - 04:38 PM
Perry
#89
Posted 08 October 2008 - 12:09 PM
Perrypool:
I'm sorry for your bad day. I wish I could switch with you for a day. That would give you a glimpse into your future 100+ days off Cymbalta and the great days you are going to experience. Real days with real feelings, emotions, minimal physical issues and good life. I do remember day 6 off Cymbalta. I joined this forum about day 3 off Cymbalta. I thought I was going nuts and found I wasn't alone. You are in the worst of it, and you are about to come out the other side...promise! :|
I know you have been weaning, so I bet you feel you have been "in this barrel" for ever. Honestly, hang in there, it's really good when you get a little further out. Remember, Benadryl seems to help the brain related withdrawal symptoms, at least for me. Tylenol for general aches. Previcid for nausea helped me tons, and still does. Omega 3's and Super duper B vitamins. Eat something, even crackers every hour or two. Walk a little and get some sunshine to help the mood and move those joints. Don't get overwhelmed. Limit visual and emotional stimuli. One thing at a time. Lay down and cover your eyes for 5 minutes every once in a while. You don't have to sleep, just focus on breathing. Because you have been so diligent to wean, your days will quickly get better!
Perrypool, you are a warrior and you will win the war. You have battled everyday to beat the poison called Cymbalta. I wish you one of those really good days we all get when withdrawing. And I hope they are frequent for you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Dear Houdi,
I"m much better at talking than at writing but I will do my best. I can not express enough in words how much your compassion and encouragement means to me. The thought of you taking the time and energy to sit and write such a beautiful note really touches me. Its people like you and others which have written that give me the hope I need at such a difficult time. My panic disorder and agoraphobia has not been helpful with making and retaining friendships so for someone like you to not only listen to me, but to also share your thoughts and feelings is something that I thought I might never have in my life. Your wish that I have one of those really good days is coming true. Not only am I feeling better, but I also plan to get outside and enjoy the sunshine and cooler temps we are having here today. I sincerely thank you and hope you have very good day too! I'm gunna take your advice and rest for a little while now. The brain zaps kicked in about 20 mins ago. I'll be back to write my daily post later. I'll let you know how the sunshine felt.
Thanks Again,
Perry
#90
Posted 08 October 2008 - 08:07 PM
Perry
P.S. Houdi... the sun felt great!
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