Anyways, time I was getting ready for bed. Hope everyone’s ok and letting it all flow. Much love and blessings xxx
xxx
Bead Counting Tapering - New To Me So All Advice Welcome!
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513 replies to this topic
#331
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Posted 22 May 2019 - 05:57 PM
Is it a comfy 29C Hat? Think it would be too much for my pale Celtic skin lol. Yes, am looking forward to the Borneo, IUN, once I find my dose. Am going to take the melatonin again soon then leave it be. It’s either that or a Valium. Come to think of it, the Valium May be better as I could do with the half life tomorrow!
Anyways, time I was getting ready for bed. Hope everyone’s ok and letting it all flow. Much love and blessings xxx xxx
Anyways, time I was getting ready for bed. Hope everyone’s ok and letting it all flow. Much love and blessings xxx
xxx
#335
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 12:30 PM
The saying here is "if you don't like the weather just wait 5 minutes and it will change." lol
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#336
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 02:37 PM
Wow, that sounds dramatic, Hat! Funny, they say that about Scotland too but it’s nowhere near as extreme. Hope you’re doing fine with it. Been a nice day here but chilly in the breeze. Managed to go food shopping, the post office and vote! Big exposure for me and hugely stressful 
Just took some herbs so will see Hope everyone’s doing great today and not too many snags. Four jackdaws landed in my back garden today. Have never seen more than two at once before. How blue their eyes are. Amazing! Then massive crows came. They’re desperate to feed their chicks, bless them. Everywhere, the blackbirds singing. Love and blessings one and all xxx xxx
Just took some herbs so will see Hope everyone’s doing great today and not too many snags. Four jackdaws landed in my back garden today. Have never seen more than two at once before. How blue their eyes are. Amazing! Then massive crows came. They’re desperate to feed their chicks, bless them. Everywhere, the blackbirds singing. Love and blessings one and all xxx xxx
#337
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 03:42 PM
Holy moly! That was a big day for you NM! Sincerely well done! Proud of you - especially the post office as Thursday is pensioners day and it can be mayhem - unless it is different in Scotland.. don't know...
#338
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 03:50 PM
Cheers, IUN! Am surprised I managed it but must confess I was the only one in the post office and the polling station - tiny village syndrome or just lucky timing! Sent you a wee PM and hope you’re having a wonderful evening, chickpea
Sent you a wee PM and hope you’re having a wonderful evening, chickpea
#339
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 04:26 PM
Notmyself,
You are right, it's a beautiful thread. Beautiful souls, much love.
I have found myself so depressed after my treatment. No taste for anything, emptiness in a way. Don't get me wrong, I give thanks every day for you guys.
There is no joy to be found, to change my state of mind at the moment. I wonder why God leaves me like this? Anyone, an answer to this to quiet the turmoil inside? A Bible quote? Thinking of God's love doesn't do it. Time, it's hard passing phase. Thanks all of you.
You are right, it's a beautiful thread. Beautiful souls, much love.
I have found myself so depressed after my treatment. No taste for anything, emptiness in a way. Don't get me wrong, I give thanks every day for you guys.
There is no joy to be found, to change my state of mind at the moment. I wonder why God leaves me like this? Anyone, an answer to this to quiet the turmoil inside? A Bible quote? Thinking of God's love doesn't do it. Time, it's hard passing phase. Thanks all of you.
#340
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 04:35 PM
So sorry to hear you’re down right now, lovely Lion Soul. Perhaps you could try just relaxing into the depression and not looking for the comfort of an experience you can easily recognise as ‘joy’. Only try this very gently, of course, and don’t worry if you can’t manage it. You’ve just been through a long and gruelling treatment. Love, prayers and healing to you, sweet soul.....and......
Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven
Hope that’s of at least a little help. Much love xxx xxx
Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven
Hope that’s of at least a little help. Much love xxx
xxx
#341
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 05:25 PM
You know... your post NM... first time my head thought of something funny in a long time. I saw "blessed are the" and my head immediately went to "The Life of Brian" and filled in... "blessed are the cheesemakers"
I needed that. Thank you. Will reply to PM in a bit.
Gailage... I think the whole process of the medical employment will have had an impact - in not the medicine, but just the procedure will make you think negatively, with or without your input. The brain puts two and two together so quickly before we can even have a chance to reason with it. I am still struggling to get to the real pleasure parts myself. I should be grateful with neutral right now. But it is so easy to let the mind wander off and think the worst. Problem with neutral, you can go either way. When depressed you can only go up!!
What a strange place my brain is - I just can't win
#342
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 05:34 PM
I agree completely with IUN, Gail, and hope my suggestion hasn’t upset you with it likely being too much for you at the moment. Hope the quote gave you some solace, though
The cheese makers lol! Funny, I watched The Life of Brian again a few months ago and it was achingly funny and not in any way having a go at Jesus. Blessed are the Greek!
The cheese makers lol! Funny, I watched The Life of Brian again a few months ago and it was achingly funny and not in any way having a go at Jesus. Blessed are the Greek!
#343
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 05:36 PM
Out of likes Notmyself,
Relaxing into the depression, and not looking.......that's a tough one. Wanting to crawl out of my skin instead....I've calmed down a bit with Gravol(anti nausea med).
At times, when like this, I cry so hard then fall asleep. Not this time. It's such an uncomfortable state, the mind going everywhere, searching for a phrase to calm myself, it just doesn't cross the brain barrior.
At times, I say out loud, ok this is depression, and this will pass. I let it be. But, as you say, with the treatment and all, it's all ok. Thank you again!
Relaxing into the depression, and not looking.......that's a tough one. Wanting to crawl out of my skin instead....I've calmed down a bit with Gravol(anti nausea med).
At times, when like this, I cry so hard then fall asleep. Not this time. It's such an uncomfortable state, the mind going everywhere, searching for a phrase to calm myself, it just doesn't cross the brain barrior.
At times, I say out loud, ok this is depression, and this will pass. I let it be. But, as you say, with the treatment and all, it's all ok. Thank you again!
#344
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 05:43 PM
Dear Scrat, it's been neutral for quite a time. I prefer neutral.
So hard to live without pleasure. You are probably right about the unconscious thoughts.
Thank you both!
So hard to live without pleasure. You are probably right about the unconscious thoughts.
Thank you both!
#345
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 05:49 PM
There’s always a connection between what’s happening physically and emotionally, sweet soul friend, so what you’ve just been through lies outside of usual coping strategies. These treatments can’t always have the same emotional effect so please just curl up, stay in your skin and let God cradle you exactly as you are, whether you’re silent, crying, screaming, laughing, sleeping. Let it out - you’re being held by God and all of us here. Special prayers for healing to you, Lion Soul xxx xxx
xxx
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#346
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Posted 23 May 2019 - 07:47 PM
I have been avidly reading into mindfulness, and how it can help with depression. The concept of meditating without a voice to guide me was unheard of, but it does makes sense. In order to quiet your mind, you need to do this on your own. The Buddhist monks don't have a little mp3 player in their impossibly neat zen gardens... so neither should we.
But quietening the mind is so damn difficult. I've been going nearly a week and I am seeing how it works, and I have had a few moments where I have successfully shut off my thoughts and it really feels wonderful. Your head is just thinking nothing. It has taken anything upto 30 minutes to reach that point, but it is worth it. It is like walking up 10 flights of stairs with a sh*tload of shopping and finally dropping them on the floor. You can hear your brain taking a big sigh of relief. But you really need to stick with it - I can see that.
#347
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Posted 24 May 2019 - 05:01 AM
Scrat, enlightening post. Half hour to achieve this. On what do you focus, your breath?
Thanks Scrat!
Thanks Scrat!
#348
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Posted 24 May 2019 - 07:58 AM
Yes, focus on breath as best I can, but thoughts wander off and you just have to keep bringing your attention back. Once you achieve the quietening, the focus isn't really anywhere - not even the breath. Difficult to explain.
Did 25 mins last night before bed and didn't get there, but still felt rested afterwards.
Shame that I have woken in a bit of a dark hole this morning. Last three days were good, but a lot of things in the background to deal with in my head which meant I couldn't truly relax. I think three days was the threshold and the head has had enough.
It is one of those feelings that is there as soon as you wake - no choice in the matter. I really don't like those where you do not know what you have done to feel this low... Sigh
#349
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Posted 24 May 2019 - 08:08 AM
Sorry, Gail. Forgot to check this thread re IUN’s instructions.
Sorry you’re in the depths today, IUN. I suppose there’s the long weekend to look forward to but know that’s not much comfort right now. Hope you get to take in a beautiful view, mushy pea, and thanks so much for your kind helpfulness. If it’s any consolation, you’ve lifted me up out of a deep dark pit, and of course you can mention it! Sending you two wonderful souls all my love and blessings. PM you later, bumble bee xxx xxx
Sorry you’re in the depths today, IUN. I suppose there’s the long weekend to look forward to but know that’s not much comfort right now. Hope you get to take in a beautiful view, mushy pea, and thanks so much for your kind helpfulness. If it’s any consolation, you’ve lifted me up out of a deep dark pit, and of course you can mention it! Sending you two wonderful souls all my love and blessings. PM you later, bumble bee xxx
xxx
#350
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Posted 24 May 2019 - 02:33 PM
Wow. Today I had the energy to mow the lawn and do major weeding. I didn’t have to encourage myself or anything. Thanks to the wonderful IUN and his guidance I’ve found real hope again and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Life seems totally different! I feel like I have so many wonderful discoveries still to make. What a difference a day makes. The wood pigeons are cooing, the blackbirds are carolling and the donkey up at the sanctuary is braying. Right now, all’s right with the world. Candle and incense lighting and meditation/prayers offered to all in a wee while when it gets dark. Sending love and blessings to everyone here on the forum, and to everything everywhere. Go bless xxx xxx
xxx
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#351
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Posted 24 May 2019 - 05:43 PM
Hurrah!! So glad that it has helped to this degree - and that it is continuing to release the goodness!
Long day this end and in need of lots of rest. My neighbour downstairs got drunk and decided that everyone owed him money and started creating havoc! Wonderful start to the weekend!!
Feel like my mood is hanging by a thread, but I have still managed to keep it together!
Wish I was amid the candles and incense with you right now NM....
#352
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Posted 25 May 2019 - 07:55 AM
Och bless you, IUN. Sounds just awful. Neighbours are the worst, especially drunken Irish ones - and I should know being Irish. Keep scouring the internet for an affordable cottage out in the wilds again but the prices are shocking. Tis raining now, cold and grey so enjoy the sun if you and your wife can get out. Here’s hoping you’re feeling more chilled today and you can enjoy a truly happy long weekend. Much love, choccie button
#353
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Posted 25 May 2019 - 09:49 AM
Weather is doing the rounds here. Rain one minute, sunny the next. Typical May for the South of England. And house prices are the worst. Due to closer commutes now, Kent house prices are closing in on those in London, which is why I am choosing still to rent until they drop a bit.
Feeling absolutely washed out today - despite a clear 8 hours sleep! May have been longer had in not been for my neighbour doing her washing! Hope the rain passes and you can enjoy your birds again my dear..
#354
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Posted 25 May 2019 - 10:57 AM
Bless you, IUN. Glad you had good shuteye. Washed out’s a great description for how I feel too. It’s really chilly here which is disconcerting now my body’s used to it being a tad warmer. House prices are mental - no other word for it! Hope you’re at least relaxing with your wife and have more sun than rain. Much love, barley sugar xxx xxx
xxx
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#355
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Posted 25 May 2019 - 01:53 PM
Its leveled out here and lots of people out feeding the damn seagulls. They are so loud - they just won't shut up!! I have been to see my friend this afternoon and had quite a relaxing time, which hasn't happened for a while.
Speaking of house prices, there is a piddly little 1 bedroom flat opposite, with a shower room and doubled up living room/kitchenette just gone on the market and they are asking £125,000! For the love of....
It'll be cheaper to spend the rest of my days in a travel tavern
#356
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Posted 25 May 2019 - 03:21 PM
You’ve got it bad over the seagulls, sweet soul. If it’s any consolation, my neighbour’s driving me nuts slamming doors and running the taps full blast. I just don’t get it! Glad you had a good time with your friend, though. Those prices are just crazy. It all has to come crashing down....again! Stay chilled, cola cube. Sending you love and prayers for quietude xxx xxx
xxx
#357
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Posted 25 May 2019 - 04:30 PM
What is with your neighbour and her taps?!
The house prices will all depend on where the current political state takes us. I am in no rush to get back on the property market - I have a good deal with my place as landlady is a close friend - always helps. Just a shame about the other neighbour... We can't win them all!
Trying to remain chilled - hope you are too despite the above. Keep calm, fizzy fish xxx
#358
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Posted 25 May 2019 - 04:36 PM
Dunno, but she’s making me want to throttle her. My friend says I should go out in the street and cut her water off lol
Aye, the world is out of kilter in so many ways. Anything and everything could happen. Glad you’re close with your landlady, but yeah, neighbours.....wish we didn’t have them!
Stay chilled, walnut whip
Aye, the world is out of kilter in so many ways. Anything and everything could happen. Glad you’re close with your landlady, but yeah, neighbours.....wish we didn’t have them!
Stay chilled, walnut whip
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