Site Admin
Posted 26 March 2023 - 06:09 PM
Agreed with Hat - you are doing better than me in that perspective. I am just too sensitive. But you keep going and just take it slow. Don't let this new chick be a rebound. You may have hit the jackpot first time round which would be great... but you are embracing the change SO well and that is how it is done.
Looks up some Alan Watts videos on change on YouTube. They will for sure help you AJ...
Look after yourself brother,
IUN
God-like
Posted 27 March 2023 - 07:44 AM
Agreed with Hat - you are doing better than me in that perspective. I am just too sensitive. But you keep going and just take it slow. Don't let this new chick be a rebound. You may have hit the jackpot first time round which would be great... but you are embracing the change SO well and that is how it is done.
Looks up some Alan Watts videos on change on YouTube. They will for sure help you AJ...
Look after yourself brother,
IUN
Thank you brother i think its the military training we learn to adapt and overcome fast. Does it hurt hell yes I hear things and sometimes my fight or flight kicks up then I realize nope its just a reaction and a feeling I can choose to move forward. I love ya man
God-like
Posted 08 April 2023 - 08:59 AM
Update: A lot has happened in the short time since I last posted. Started talking to the ex and we discussed reconciliation, however that turned into a blame game namely blaming me for everything that happened. I also found she kept lying about how many partners she had in the few months we had been seperated. I lost all trust in her and decided against it she turned it around on me and said I rejected her. In all reality I chose to protect myself from being hurt anymore I discovered that I am happier and not so anxious without her. Meds are helping I am on 50 mg Zoloft and seems to be keeping me at an even pace in life for the most part. I am dating a Nurse which has been fantastic she is kind and understanding and actually wants to be with me so that is a plus. I am not sure I will withdrawing off Zoloft anytime soon, however it is still a future goal. Life throws us curveballs for sure, however I believe God pulls us through I was surprised how many friends reached out and continue to reach out. God bless and happy easter
Site Partners
Posted 08 April 2023 - 11:23 AM
Great post AJ. Take it easy and enjoy where you are at in life. Take some time to get yourself together and rebuild your strength and confidence. There will be time enough for Zoloft withdrawal later. That is not a high dose at all.
Happy Easter AJ
Site Admin
Posted 08 April 2023 - 02:57 PM
Following from our contact on FB... you know how I feel. Your ex knows about the nurse right?
She cannot stand that. You have happiness, and she wants that, and that is why she came back. These are narcissistic qualities and need to be avoided at all costs.
You are doing the right thing. Keep on treading this path - you are doing great!!!
Bless you dear brother
God-like
Posted 22 April 2023 - 08:37 AM
I am about 2 months on 50 mg zoloft most of the time i am doing ok have my moments of anxiousness. One thing i have noticed with the divorce and the mental stress it has caused is parts of me have grown cold and almost heartless like i just dont care. I know that its all part of the healing process. I have had to set firm boundaries with my ex and that is helping us to at least communicate about the children. I am still dating a wonderful nurse and things are going pretty well. Life is strange we think and we pray for what we want then God gives us what he wants and its even better than we could imagine. i still have my moments of mid life sadness as I call it but trying to keep pushing on. Hope all is well with you guys let me know whats new in your lives.
Site Partners
Site Admin
Posted 25 April 2023 - 05:28 PM
Glad to hear that you are continuing with your dating career! That is wonderful news.
I know there have been many issues before that have been spoken about and you just have to keep going strong. I REALLY do understand you. I cannot count how many times that I have been there.
Just remember your self compassion. You owe yourself the better things in life.
IUN
God-like
Posted 12 May 2023 - 05:07 PM
Been pretty low key lately. I am working through the pain and hurt and shock still of everything. It still seems unreal after 17 years to not be with her anymore. I have been trying to be more cordial while still keeping my walls up. I have told her what she can and cannot share with me. She has followed it for the most part when she doesnt its no contact until I feel I am ready to talk again. Been moving along nicely with the girlfriend building a healthy relationship and trying to make sure my old relationship does not bleed on my new one. I hope you all are well. Love you guys
Chris
God-like
Posted 20 May 2023 - 10:05 AM
Been a few days now and its strange it seems so much more real then when we were just seperated. I do miss her and miss my old life I miss what I thought she was tho not who she truly was. I like the girl I am with now she is great and kind and sweet and fun. I also am feeling less than. My self esteem has takin a huge hit the men my ex has gone on to be with are so different in better shape etc.. she over shares with me and I stop her still doesnt make me wonder if I am good enough. All of this has also made me realize how short life really is am I doing what I want to be doing ? Am I with people who I really want to be with ? etc.. Love you all prayers are welcome its a difficult time.
Site Admin
Posted 28 May 2023 - 12:55 PM
You are doing so well Chris. It will be tough for some time, can't lie to you.
As you said, 17 years is a really long time, but I am glad you have found someone else and I am sure I am right in saying the your (now) ex-wife will be trying to get your attention and get her way back into your good books. She will not like the fact that you have moved on so well.
"We all have self-dounts and insecurities and never more than after a failed relationship. You will persevere."
Great line by Hat there... after I realised it didn't say "self-donuts". That could have been an awesome typo Hat 
Site Admin
Posted 07 June 2023 - 05:09 PM
Chris.... recent survey...
Large population of American surveys said they felt "depressed" a minimum of 10% of their time.
1 in 10 days - nearly once a week...
or 3-4 days a month.
It is a social thing moreover a "un-normal" thing these days. Depression is part of life what with social media, fast food, over-inflated egos, war, crime...
You Sir.. are normal.
God-like
Posted 10 June 2023 - 10:08 AM
Thank you both i realized to what i was eating was not helping i noticed that when i drink soda i feel worse the next few days i am not a big pop drinker so that may be why. i also noticed that I am falling back into my old pattern with this new woman basically giving my all and not getting that in return at least that is the way it feels. Lots of crazy feeling and emotions lately.
Site Partners
Posted 11 June 2023 - 07:59 AM
Psilocybin will NOT work if you are still on a snri or ssri (like Zoloft). There is some discussion on this on this thread.
Site Admin
Posted 11 June 2023 - 03:16 PM
I can tell you first hand that it won't work.
Both myself and the wife have tried psilocybin, and it did absolutely nothing as we are both on relatively high doses of anti-depressants.
If you look at any of the documentaries (and the paper that Hat has supplied), you will see that any of the participants had to ween off their anti-depressants before they took part.
It is a promising means of recovering, but there are two methods;
1) A full dose (one-off) that is said to "reset" the brain from its re-wiring of serotonin and so forth, or
2) microdosing, which is an alternative to anti-depressants, which is taken daily until it is not needed any more.
Occasionally, the first option requires a second or third dose to complete the exercise, but this will be done under medical supervision. So the only option to you, unless you find someone to undertake the larger doses, is the microdosing. But you absolutely MUST stop your existing medication because it simply will not work.
It is not just me saying this. I foolishly didn't look into it enough before starting. Fortunately, there are no harmful effects, but it is psilocybin of anti-depressants.
Mixing them simply will not work.
IUN
Member
Posted 18 June 2023 - 02:17 PM
I've lost tons of friends through this whole process of cymbalta withdrawl. it makes this process way worse. everything keeps compounding. I'm just "too much" for ppl right now and no one cares to understand. 
it's hard enought for me to make friends without the withdrawl.
It makes my fear of ending up alone so real feeling!
Any advice on this aspect??
The worst part for me at this point is my wife I've been married for 13 years been with her for 18 years and at the end of my breakdown she decides to tell me she wants to separate or divorce she keeps telling me there is a sliver of hope still but one day she will be affectionate which is what I need other day she's cold and distant we still live together but she wants to be friends I need help I know I'm putting to much stock in her but she is the one I turn to when I'm broken
Site Admin
Posted 18 June 2023 - 04:37 PM
Hi redbird...
I won't speak on behalf of Axle, but there is so much more behind the cymbalta situation that he has gone thru. Don't benchmark your present situation with others. Everyone has their own means of going through this sort of stuff.
Your REAL friends will understand.
They will give you space when you need it, they will give you support when you ask for it
Mental health is just one of those things that you only understand when you have "been there". It is not possible to understand just how damn awful it can be. That is why there are forums with people like Hat and myself (and Axle... when he sees this).
We have all been through sooooo much sh!t. Some of us are still fighting it. I am not ashamed to say that I am still fighting alcohol abuse. Much better than I was, but still plenty of hard yards to go.
We are all here for you. Just keep in touch. Write when and where you want - we are all here for you. You need people that understand...
IUN
Site Partners
Posted 18 June 2023 - 04:44 PM
I would like to reiterate what IUN said...
"Your REAL friends will understand."
So true. The others were not "real" friends but only acquaintances. Someone once said it is better to have a few good friends than a lot of fair-weather friends.
God-like
Posted 21 June 2023 - 11:19 AM
I've lost tons of friends through this whole process of cymbalta withdrawl. it makes this process way worse. everything keeps compounding. I'm just "too much" for ppl right now and no one cares to understand.
it's hard enought for me to make friends without the withdrawl.
It makes my fear of ending up alone so real feeling!
Any advice on this aspect??
Hi redbird...
I won't speak on behalf of Axle, but there is so much more behind the cymbalta situation that he has gone thru. Don't benchmark your present situation with others. Everyone has their own means of going through this sort of stuff.
Your REAL friends will understand.
They will give you space when you need it, they will give you support when you ask for it
Mental health is just one of those things that you only understand when you have "been there". It is not possible to understand just how damn awful it can be. That is why there are forums with people like Hat and myself (and Axle... when he sees this).
We have all been through sooooo much sh!t. Some of us are still fighting it. I am not ashamed to say that I am still fighting alcohol abuse. Much better than I was, but still plenty of hard yards to go.
We are all here for you. Just keep in touch. Write when and where you want - we are all here for you. You need people that understand...
IUN
In my most recent withdrawal I lost my wife, however it also showed me just how abusive and manipulative she was she compounded my mental health issues and loved doing it. It gets better you have to remember that YOU are the priority in this. You are doing this for you and you have to take care of yourself the rest will fall into place the right people will come along and be there.
Site Admin
Posted 21 June 2023 - 03:19 PM
Wonderful AJ... really sounds like you are putting the pieces together.
What you have said is the complete truth/
These things can be tough, but all the time we remember that we need to look after ourselves along the way, it doesn't need to be that bad. The good times will find you - as you say...
Site Admin
Posted 27 June 2023 - 04:49 PM
37.5mg is a very low dose - very much a therapeutic dose.
So if you can hold this dose, then I would gently taper until you are off it to avoid a long-term withdrawal plan.
Doctors will usually start you on 25 (or maybe 50) milligrams, so 37.5 is really not much at all. If you are stable on that then I would strongly suggest you gradually wean off that dose and see how you go once you are at ground zero.
At that point you can try psilocybin if you are still feeling uneasy. This is what my wife is doing. She has been on SO many psy-drugs. NONE have worked, so she is currently withdrawing from Venlafaxine (Effexor) so that she can try this approach.
PLEASE NOTE: You cannot try psilocybin without first withdrawing from your current anti-depressant. It will NOT work and potentially end up causing serotonin syndrome.
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