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#2581 invalidusername

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Posted 26 March 2023 - 06:09 PM

Agreed with Hat - you are doing better than me in that perspective. I am just too sensitive. But you keep going and just take it slow. Don't let this new chick be a rebound. You may have hit the jackpot first time round which would be great... but you are embracing the change SO well and that is how it is done.

 

Looks up some Alan Watts videos on change on YouTube. They will for sure help you AJ...

 

Look after yourself brother,

 

IUN


#2582 Axlejames

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Posted 27 March 2023 - 07:44 AM

Agreed with Hat - you are doing better than me in that perspective. I am just too sensitive. But you keep going and just take it slow. Don't let this new chick be a rebound. You may have hit the jackpot first time round which would be great... but you are embracing the change SO well and that is how it is done.

 

Looks up some Alan Watts videos on change on YouTube. They will for sure help you AJ...

 

Look after yourself brother,

 

IUN

Thank you brother i think its the military training we learn to adapt and overcome fast. Does it hurt hell yes I hear things and sometimes my fight or flight kicks up then I realize nope its just a reaction and a feeling I can choose to move forward. I love ya man 


#2583 Axlejames

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Posted 08 April 2023 - 08:59 AM

Update: A lot has happened in the short time since I last posted. Started talking to the ex and we discussed reconciliation, however that turned into a blame game namely blaming me for everything that happened. I also found she kept lying about how many partners she had in the few months we had been seperated. I lost all trust in her and decided against it she turned it around on me and said I rejected her. In all reality I chose to protect myself from being hurt anymore I discovered that I am happier and not so anxious without her. Meds are helping I am on 50 mg Zoloft and seems to be keeping me at an even pace in life for the most part. I am dating a Nurse which has been fantastic she is kind and understanding and actually wants to be with me so that is a plus. I am not sure I will withdrawing off Zoloft anytime soon, however it is still a future goal. Life throws us curveballs for sure, however I believe God pulls us through I was surprised how many friends reached out and continue to reach out. God bless and happy easter


#2584 fishinghat

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Posted 08 April 2023 - 11:23 AM

Great post AJ. Take it easy and enjoy where you are at in life. Take some time to get yourself together and rebuild your strength and confidence. There will be time enough for Zoloft withdrawal later. That is not a high dose at all. 

 

Happy Easter AJ


#2585 invalidusername

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Posted 08 April 2023 - 02:57 PM

Following from our contact on FB... you know how I feel. Your ex knows about the nurse right? 

 

She cannot stand that. You have happiness, and she wants that, and that is why she came back. These are narcissistic qualities and need to be avoided at all costs. 

 

You are doing the right thing. Keep on treading this path - you are doing great!!!

 

Bless you dear brother 


#2586 Axlejames

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Posted 22 April 2023 - 08:37 AM

I am about 2 months on 50 mg zoloft most of the time i am doing ok have my moments of anxiousness. One thing i have noticed with the divorce and the mental stress it has caused is parts of me have grown cold and almost heartless like i just dont care. I know that its all part of the healing process. I have had to set firm boundaries with my ex and that is helping us to at least communicate about the children. I am still dating a wonderful nurse and things are going pretty well. Life is strange we think and we pray for what we want then God gives us what he wants and its even better than we could imagine. i still have my moments of mid life sadness as I call it but trying to keep pushing on. Hope all is well with you guys let me know whats new in your lives. 


#2587 fishinghat

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Posted 22 April 2023 - 08:42 AM

"Life is strange we think and we pray for what we want then God gives us what he wants and its even better than we could imagine."

 

Boy can I relate to that!!

 

You are doing fine AJ. Time is on your side. 


#2588 invalidusername

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Posted 25 April 2023 - 05:28 PM

Glad to hear that you are continuing with your dating career! That is wonderful news.

 

I know there have been many issues before that have been spoken about and you just have to keep going strong. I REALLY do understand you. I cannot count how many times that I have been there. 

 

Just remember your self compassion. You owe yourself the better things in life. 

 

IUN


#2589 Axlejames

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Posted 12 May 2023 - 05:07 PM

Been pretty low key lately. I am working through the pain and hurt and shock still of everything. It still seems unreal after 17 years to not be with her anymore. I have been trying to be more cordial while still keeping my walls up. I have told her what she can and cannot share with me. She has followed it for the most part when she doesnt its no contact until I feel I am ready to talk again. Been moving along nicely with the girlfriend building a healthy relationship and trying to make sure my old relationship does not bleed on my new one. I hope you all are well. Love you guys 

 

Chris 


#2590 fishinghat

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Posted 13 May 2023 - 07:42 AM

You are a wise man Chris. You have put this in perspective and should be proud of yourself. Time will heal the wounds.


#2591 Axlejames

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Posted 18 May 2023 - 11:54 AM

Yesterday my divorce was finalized


#2592 fishinghat

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Posted 19 May 2023 - 08:14 AM

Erggg!

 

Peace be with you.


#2593 Axlejames

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Posted 20 May 2023 - 10:05 AM

Been a few days now and its strange it seems so much more real then when we were just seperated. I do miss her and miss my old life I miss what I thought she was tho not who she truly was. I like the girl I am with now she is great and kind and sweet and fun. I also am feeling less than. My self esteem has takin a huge hit the men my ex has gone on to be with are so different in better shape etc.. she over shares with me and I stop her still doesnt make me wonder if I am good enough. All of this has also made me realize how short life really is am I doing what I want to be doing ? Am I with people who I really want to be with ? etc.. Love you all prayers are welcome its a difficult time. 


#2594 fishinghat

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Posted 20 May 2023 - 05:40 PM

Prayers always Chris. 

 

We all have self-dounts and insecurities and never more than after a failed relationship. You will persevere.





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