894 replies to this topic

[invalidusername]

That's the tag line for the next few days/weeks... I really need to nurture the grey matter.

 

If my brain could talk.... well, there would be expletives.. 

[Noush]

IUN do you have the Head Space app?

[invalidusername]

I have it on my laptop.

 

Use Insight Timer on my phone.

[Noush]

I'm doing the 'Managing Anxiety' meditation course on Head Space & it has really helped today! I would highly recommend it!

[invalidusername]

Just found the anxiety "pack". Not got there yet, but will have a play later

[Noush]

It's the 30 day 'Managing Anxiety' course that I am doing.

[invalidusername]

Yes - got this along with the sleep and stress one.

 

I opted not to go with the pregnancy pack for now

[Noush]

😂 I've signed up for the year, so going to do most of the courses. Also, won't be bothering with the pregnancy pack 😀

[KathyInFL]

That's 3 of us that won't be doing the pregnancy pack.         

[invalidusername]

I assume this is to be understand prior to the birth. I wouldn't want to be the one to say.. deep breaths, ice chips, soothing thoughts, and oh, keep meditating darling

[invalidusername]

Yesterday ended very well, so I was a bit wired when I went to bed. I couldn't sleep until 6am! But I didn't let it worry me. I was on a bit of a high due to a nice lift in mood.

 

I woke around noon and felt great, but still in need of sleep. So I drifted off again and woke at 2pm but then had depression already holding me. I really cannot understand this. I did have slightly stressful dreams in these two hours. Could it really be this?

 

I went to see my friend again for a couple of hours, but whilst there was a very small change in mood, it didn't make me feel better. I just cannot help thinking that this week has really done it for me. I know I need to give myself a break, but it is so difficult to see any light at the moment.

 

Hat - an updated chart for you!!

 

https://ibb.co/bRrPr2F

 

Day 50 marks the drop to 10mg Duloxetine

Day 73 marks the point of stopping Duloxetine (6 weeks ago)

 

From day 100 there was a very nice pattern of gradual increase and was looking good. Consequence or otherwise, this is when I went from 5mg to 15mg of Lexapro.

 

Day 110 saw the start of the Pregabalin. Stopped Pregabalin at 115.

 

I know it is difficult to make head and tail from this, but your opinion, or anyone's for that matter, looking in would be very much welcomed.

[fishinghat]

Look at the time difference between rock bottom.

Days (roughly) 80. 83, 87, 93, 100 and 116.

So the distance between these rock bottom days is increasing.
3, 4, 6, 7, 16. That is a good sign.

I also think that the pregabalin has also had an effect on this graph that can not be fully known. It will be interesting to see what this graph does in the next 7 days if your med usage is stable.

[invalidusername]

Thank you Hat - this is what has kept my focus. But it is the erratic mood changes since I stopped the Duloxetine which I am finding the most difficult. You called this some time ago saying it would be up, down and all over the place for a while. I guess I am just hoping it will hurry up and settle. Really miss those nice long strings of 4's  

[invalidusername]

I should also add here the little research that I did on the side effects of the Pregabalin.

 

The required tests carried out by Pfizer noted that 1 in 480 experienced suicidal action/severe thoughts, so 0.21%. Regardless of the small number, I still think it is quite shocking. However, please read on....

 

A further study which undertook to establish figures based on the reason for taking the Pregabalin (Epilepsy, Psychiatric and Other) noted the risk of depression to be three times greater for users with existing depression than those with epilepsy alone. A further risk of suicidal thoughts/actions also based on the same measure saw 8.5/1000 reported - so this 0.21% from Pfizer is actually 0.85% if a person prone to depression starts taking Pregabalin.

 

So lets put this in a simple one-liner context so anyone reading can be suitably warned.

 

1 in 117 people who take Pregabalin and are prone to anxiety and/or depression will experience suicidal thoughts.

 

SOURCE: https://www.medsafe..../Lyricacaps.pdf

[PrincessNutella]

1 in 117 people who take Pregabalin and are prone to anxiety and/or depression will experience suicidal thoughts.

Too high of a number I think.

[invalidusername]

No kidding!

 

This is independent of dose and can occur within a week of starting treatment.

 

This is one statistic I would have been happy not to have been!

[Noush]

Well it looks like unfortunately the Pregabalin may have only hindered your recovery & muddied the waters. The positive way to look at this is that this will soon be out if your system & hopefully you will start to see the benefits of the Lexapro (Escitalopram) soon.

How are you feeling today?

[invalidusername]

Yes - I wish that the issues with the drug had been pointed out in clearer detail - and I should never have trusted the opinion of the MH team without first researching it.

 

I woke up to what I can only describe as a nagging feeling of depression. Trying my best not to latch onto it, but is impossible to ignore. It has made me very stressed now to the point I want to scream or hit the wall. Almost like a form of torture. It's a nasty feeling and not sure what to do with it?

[fishinghat]

"I should never have trusted the opinion of the MH team without first researching it."

Words of wisdom.

[invalidusername]

But wisdom came too late... lesson learnt.

[invalidusername]

I think today had the capacity for being a better morning - I had 9 hours of solid sleep! -  but I had a very vivid dream about my friend that I lost a few days ago. I have woken up in a lot of emotional pain, which obviously doesn't bode well for other symptoms.

 

I know it will pass, but it is days like this that you want to pull the covers back over yourself and hide.

 

But hey, this is not the way right? I need to find inner strength. Not the best outcome, but it is an improvement over the last few days.

[invalidusername]

Woke feeling very agitated and am finding myself with a lot of inner conflict over this withdrawal. Getting annoyed, impatient, angry.

 

It is like my brain is trying to catalog all my emotions again. 

 

But this always leads back to the underlying nervous anxiety and then depression. I am so sick and tired of this. Three weeks on 15mg Lexapro - I really hope this is going to do something for me. I cannot stand this morning "emotional lottery". Grrrrrrrr.

 

Hope the Doc's went well for you Hat.

[Noush]

IUN - You cannot stand today? Is this due to dizziness?

[Noush]

Or do you mean 'you cannot stand how you are feeling today?'

[invalidusername]

Yes - the second - metaphorically cannot stand. I just want to cry. Why won't it all end....

[Noush]

Just in brief, from the beginning of you changing meds, what are your time lines on each med/dose?

[invalidusername]

After 11 weeks on 60mg Cym, I did around 3 weeks on 30mg Cym/10mg Citalopram, then 3 weeks on 20mg Cym/20mg Citalopram, the 10mg Cym/30 Citalopram for 2 weeks before my Cym was taken away and I had days to ween to 0mg before I had got anywhere near stable.

 

I was then on the 30mg Citalopram for a further 3 week before then doing a week's cross taper to 15mg Lexapro.

 

Now been on 15mg Lexapro for 3 weeks as of today - and 7 weeks since stopping the Cym as of tomorrow.

[Noush]

So in just over 3 months, you've had three different antidepressants plus Pregabalin in your system! This is a hell of a lot for your body/brain to go through.

How is your diet right now? I'm a huge believer in feeding your body with the fuel that it needs to heal. Supplement have their place, but should never replace nutrition from the natural foods that we eat.

[invalidusername]

I absolutely agree, and I am paying the price for it. 

 

Diet wise I eat quite well. Am a vegetarian as well. High fibre cereal, eggs or cheese for lunch - no crisps or anything like that, but the odd chocolate biscuit in the day. Dinners are veggie meat, salads, beans and occasionally potatoes or yorkshire puddings! Have about a third of a sugar in herbal tea, drink maybe a glass of wine every 2/3 weeks, don't smoke...

 

I've looked over my journal and can see where this frustration is coming from. Whereas before my symptoms would appear during the morning/afternoon when my thoughts were controlling it and I would recuperate in the evening knowing they couldn't touch me, now I have no control and the symptoms come and go as they please. I can never just sit and think... ok, I have an hour or two off now. Not a chance. 2am last night I had around 25 minutes of depression out of nowhere. Just want to be left alone!! This is what is driving the anxiety then I guess??

[Noush]

2am? How come you were up at 2am?