2761 replies to this topic

[Axlejames]

All the love in the world couldn't save you
All the innocence inside
You know I tried so hard to make you
Oh, to make you change your mind
And it hurts too much to see you
And how you left yourself behind
You know I wouldn't want to be you
Now there's a hell I can't describe

[Pre-Chorus]
So now I wander through my days
And try to find my ways to the feelings that I felt
I saved for you and no one else
And though as long as this road seems
I know it's called the street of dreams
But that's not stardust on my feet
It leaves a taste that's bittersweet
That's called the blues

[Axlejames]

Another song

[invalidusername]

Another classic GnR.

 

Takes me back to my days of vinyl. Had Lies and Appetite on record. Still got them somewhere.

[Axlejames]

I used to sing a lot I can sing like axl wanted to form a cover band

[Axlejames]

Checking in I have been somewhat at peace yesterday today I feel a little more anxious had a bad dream about my soon to be ex and another man not sure what or how I can get through it I just am still in shock about how quickly life can change

[Axlejames]

Anxiety is full fledge today have been looking at a bunch if evidenvce again why am I looking I dont know it's like yesterday I had faith today I'm back to ok I need proof again

[invalidusername]

Crikey - you've gone from peace to full anxiety!!

 

You did well for yesterday, but going back is to be expected. The occasionally fall of the wagon if you like!

 

I do the same with drugs - specifically Lexapro as I am now starting it.

 

Try your best to steer away from it, but at the same time don't beat yourself up.

[Axlejames]

Let me ask this question obviously my emotional state isnt well is it possible I just dont have enough brain power so to speak to make any real life decisions for example and I might catch flack here but I have been studying the case against evolution and a young earth that really comforted me yesterday to me personally it made sense and I felt a sense of peace and calm then this morning I woke up and got anxious thinking of it like my mind just wasnt made up again does this make sense I know this is a controversial topic and not really looking to debate but these are big decisions I'm trying to make here is it possible I wont be able to come to a satisfying conclusion for myself until I'm out of withdrawls

[invalidusername]

"I wont be able to come to a satisfying conclusion for myself until I'm out of withdrawls"

 

...and not even then!!

 

Questions without answers W Axlejames Rose

[Axlejames]

Exactly at the end if the day it comes down to belief and right now I waiver because of my mental state I need to remeber fish advice not to think on such heavy things right now something else I read that I want to share : “Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear.”
I call that sideways energy, in other words, energy that is just leaking out. When I start getting worried, I have to ask the question, “Why are you like this soul, what is going on in the inside?” Get the right perspective, God is in control.
And : Rest your mind a bit and give yourself permission to enjoy some of the simple things of life again. Don’t worry about all your unanswered questions and trying to solve all of life’s mysteries. There’s more to life than that. Rather, give your doubts a bedtime and put them to sleep. Otherwise, they’ll keep you up all the time. Shelve your doubts. Or even starve them. This isn’t a copout; it’s a respite. Later, when you feel mentally and emotionally ready, you can reengage. Don’t worry, your doubts will be waiting for you, but this time in a nonpossessive way. Weaken the power of your doubts by refusing to overly obsess over them. It’ll make a difference. Trust me.

[Noush]

Axle - Do you think you could be suffering from Existential and Philosophical OCD here? It doesn't matter whether you have suffered from OCD before, I didn't start with OCD until I was 30. Having a baby triggered mine. I have Pure O, which is Obsessive thinking & Intrusive Thoughts.

It doesn't seem like the Cymbalta is doing anything for you. What is your plan with that? I think you've been trying to just 'hang in there' for long enough now. Either you need to swap to another med or up your dose to 40mg, as 30mg is not a therapeutic dose and therefore it's not surprising that this is doing nothing for you.

[Axlejames]

I have a dr appt on the 31st and going to look at getting different meds hopefully an SSRI but I don't know I know fish has talked 6 months to a year and I'm only in month 3 I don't know I feel better when I dont focus

[Axlejames]

Or I was just reading these intrusive thoughts or o sensitive thoughts again are just an offshoot of fear and anxiety one of the things mentioned is finding a coach all of my thoughts are normal I'm just shining a spotlight on them I have a fear that Gods not real for me that would mean a lot bit it's a fear everyone has this come into their mind from time to time I need to accept this and not feed it or give it power how I do this not sure yet I definitely need to stay off the internet looking for answers

[gail]

AxleJames,

Open your own book, the answer is within you!

[invalidusername]

Agree with you both!! Look inside Axle.

 

Ask yourself why we look for something that isn't there?

 

Answers.. not God

[Axlejames]

I get it had to read it a few times iun but yeah if God didnt exist why are we always trying to find him cant look for something that ain't there nicely put I just need to get my thought life under control recognize anxiety and fear claim every thought for God Gail that's what I'm trying to do I need to stop looking to others which btw it's the internet trolls that stole my fear and anxiety and make my own choice

[invalidusername]

Absolutely.

 

Please do not spend the life given to you looking for things which will never become clear. Let's just say this is the only chance we get - if that is the case, you wouldn't spend your whole time trying to find otherwise. That would be like going to a millionaire's lodge somewhere in Beverley Hills and spending the whole time in the bathroom

 

God has a plan for all of us, and I'm quite sure He wasn't intending for us to be looking for all this stuff on the Internet!!

[Axlejames]

Very true iun thank you

[invalidusername]

So if you are looking at a different AD, you will be doing another cross-taper from the Cymbalta? 

 

If you went with Lexapro, you will again have done exactly the same as me!! 

 

Given all the potential issues with Cymbalta, I would tell people to get off the stuff while is not too long in your system. But as you know, going onto another SSRI is the luck of the draw. Might work, might not. This is obviously where I am with the Lexapro, but given that the Citalopram wasn't working before, and the Cymbalta just made me ill, I've got nothing to loose...

[invalidusername]

Book for you dude;

 

https://smile.amazon...k/dp/1563091380

 

Not released yet, but looks real interesting...

[Axlejames]

Anxiety up again this morning I still dontbsleep good I dont know why I feel like I sleep but dont dream almost like if you've ever had anesthesia and then I wake up anxious

[invalidusername]

Hey Axle,

 

Just checking in with you as you've been a bit quiet today. I'm forever waking up anxious, withdrawal or not. Fear of starting a new day and all that.

 

Hope you are ok,

 

IUN

[Axlejames]

I'm ok bud my body feels like its crashed I feel complete exhaustion its strange I am hoping to get things sorted soon the intrusive thoughts are still here I was doing good until this afternoon then I started to feed the anxiety monster I still don't feel like my self I am so focused on these thoughts that I give no mind to anything else I wonder if I sit here and stay in my head all day if that's why I dont really dream at night i had an epiphany tonight I'm not being led by the spirit I'm trying to lead the spirit which is wrong I think

[invalidusername]

The exhaustion is to be expected if you are in the over-thinking stages again. Thinking can take up the same amount of bodily resources as exercise. It depletes the body of essential elements in the same way that need to be replenished, but at the same time makes you feel totally run down. 

 

I have always found the difficulty in accepting the bad days and let time pass until the good days return. I have always thought of the good days as a temporary point until the bad return, and the bad at the normal - occasionally interspersed with the odd good day. This is why I keep a diary to keep my head level.

 

Leading the spirit sounds wrong!! Think it would need more definition, but you won't be doing any harm I am sure!! 

[Axlejames]

So December 26th will be month 4 off the celexa and I am wondering if the obsessive intrusive thoughts mild depression and days of bad anxiety muscle tiredness and all around bad days are still normal I guess what I'm asking is this still attributed to SSRI withdrawl I dont know if I have an actual mental disorder or not if I do then its important I find a medication to help me if I dont then I need to keep riding the withdrawl horse as it tries to buck me off

[fishinghat]

Celexa withdrawal can be 4 to 8 months long for some before it starts to turn around,

[Axlejames]

Thank you fish I know we have talked about it before I'm struggling because I get this glimpse sometimes where I feel like me its this fear of what if this as stable as I'm gonna get or like in exercise have I plateuad if that makes sense idk I'm grateful for all of you the intrusive obsessive thoughts and weird muscle aches and tightness lately is what's been doing me in

[fishinghat]

"weird muscle aches and tightness lately"

Have your magnesium checked. I can not emphasize enough how many people get there magnesium out of balance during withdrawal.

[invalidusername]

Good point about the magnesium Hat.

 

Usually find that cramps occur frequently with deficiency. Axle, if these "weird muscle aches" can be found to be cramps, then magnesium might be the answer - but as Hat said, don't assume, it is better to be checked first. So many people today just throw vitamins and minerals at these problems without really knowing the root cause.

 

To quote Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, all these people are doing is paying for very expensive urine!!

 

[Axlejames]

Another weird thing is I get these feelings like electricity going through my muscles sometimes