2764 replies to this topic

[invalidusername]

You of course speak for us all, but a book only get more attention - believe me, I was published almost 3 years ago, and I am still getting hassle from it!!

 

We'll leave Hat to his boats, trees and tins of veg

[fishinghat]

Thank you so much AJ. I have enough challenges without publishing a book. lol

[gail]

Scrat, can you tell us the title of that book?

[invalidusername]

Which book is that my sweetness?

[gail]

Perhaps not a book,. But something you published three years back?

[invalidusername]

Messaged!!

[Noush]

Oow I'm intrigued to IUN?!

[invalidusername]

Sent you a message also Noush

[Axlejames]

Can I get a copy to

[invalidusername]

Sent you message with link

 

It is a very unique topic granted... but should anyone be interested, please do not buy from Amazon, I will happily send copies to my forum family directly

[Axlejames]

I would prefer to buy my friend want to support you if I can ya know

[Axlejames]

I am filled with anxiety and so much stress I still dont sleep good I sleep but dont dream I'm tense all night long and what feels like all day my mind races and sometimes slow down I'm about 3 and a half months into my celexa withdrawl I wish this would be done and I could be and feel normal all the time has anyone else had this issue where its gross but your feces smells different is it possible fish oil does this in any case I'm starting to feel this wave of depression emotionless anxiety come back again as far as my thoughts lately go I'm afraid of dying I'm afraid that my future will be cut short and it feels me with dread is this withdrawl

[fishinghat]

"is it possible fish oil does this "

Yes, a slight change as well as more oily in nature. Serotonin is primarily made in the gut so these changes in serotonin levels will cause corresponding changes as well.

[Axlejames]

Thank you bud having a rough day wife is filing paperwork today

[gail]

Ah AJ,

This day won't be easy, the in between things are hard emotionally. Like the in between this and that, waiting for .... we'd like to say Get it over with!

Like the dying part, the in between part when you leave for the hospital, get there, get settled, that's the part that makes me anxious. Between home and hospital.

Most people dying aren't scared, by the grace of God. Most are at peace. It's a beautiful transition from here to way up there. But, I'm sorry, you are a guy in his thirties, I haven't thought of that. That being said, most young people like you, are afraid of dying. It's just at this point, all is magnefied in your brain. Love, Gail

[invalidusername]

Here for you man...

[Axlejames]

It's not so much a fear of death it's that fear of somehow some way my future will be cut short feeling what's that called

[gail]

Like a prenomition? Sorry if spelling is wrong.

[invalidusername]

Premonition would be like something you feel will actually happen. Like when you think about someone, and they call you on the phone.

 

I would say this is your anxiety acting up. There will often be no rhyme or reason to it - as our Gail knows only too well.

 

How's the rest of the day gone? Please keep us posted...

 

*man-hug*

[Axlejames]

Not so great super emotional just want to curl up into a ball and shut the world out anxiety is just coming at me all the time I'm sad that my wife wants a divorce obviously and i keep looking for meaning in everything i just dont know when or if I'll ever feel right again this is like a never ending nightmare that I'll never wake up from

[invalidusername]

Oh mate. You have hit it hard. And understandably so. 

 

It is also natural to be looking for meaning in everything when all meaning seems to be lost. You will question why you are doing things, the point of it all. It's a bleak place, and whilst our paths may not have followed the same line, I have been there.

 

I very much doubt there is anything that can be said to ease the suffering, other than to remember your CW.com family here. Cymbalta related or otherwise - we are here for you.

[Axlejames]

I'm not ashamed I sat in an epson bath and cried for 20 minutes I feel like when I need God the most he has abandon me for most of my life i could feel myself led by the spirit now i cant feel anything what is wrong with me i feel like somehow i deserve this that I've done something to be punished this gnawing feeling of despair and emptiness is so so embedded so deep I dont think I will ever get through this I feel like I cant even turn to my God because even he is tired of listening then you have all these scientists trying to prove that we are accidents and they work hard to disprove everything they explain my spirituality away as a brain function and look my brain is messed up and my spirituality is gone what if they are right did I spend my life only getting this far by chance and luck I honestly thought I would spend the rest of my life with my wife growing old together and now I have to be alone or find a new partner I'm 36 who the heck starts over so late anyways my ramblings for the evening I literally am so distraught I dont know where to turn am I feeling it this badly because I'm still withdrawing off the celexa it's only month 3 and a half or do idk

[invalidusername]

That took a brave turn to write this Axle. 

 

The first thing I want to say is that I did not find my wife until I was 35 - your age is not a problem. Honestly. You sound exactly like I was when I was sleeping in the spare bedroom that my last partner and I bought together. She would be out late at night, my head was going crazy with thoughts. I had to live with her for 2 months after we broke up as we both had dibs on the house. Harsh times mate - very harsh times. But here I am 6 years on with the most amazing wife I could have hoped for. Don't look for this sort of thing now because it just won't be there in your head. Keep remembering your room and red things example - I keep bringing it to mind during the day. You have a double whammy here with the withdrawal and your wife - things will not seem normal.

 

Do whatever you need or want to do to get some feeling. Don't expect anything from yourself at the moment. Try your bet to distract and find your faith. God will not abandon you.

 

And please forget the scientists. With no disrespect to your own grasp of science, I am a researcher in the sciences, and have been for a while, and I have read a lot of stuff about this - both for and against. I am still no swayed away from my faith. 

 

Hang in there. I will be awake for a little longer if you need any more support.

[Axlejames]

Thank you so much my friend thank you one of the worst things is I'm not allowed to tell anyone my family doesnt know no one except for you guys my soon to be ex doesnt want people finding out because we live in a small town and doesn't want people to gossip so I have to pretend like everything is fine when inside I'm falling apart I cant even tell my parents because if I do my wife said she will leave and he wake the kids in any case to really twist the knife she tells me tonight after the divorce she will be sleeping with other men and women as well which wouldnt have hurt me if it weren't for the fact that she said the divorce was just a piece of paper and we would still be life partners now we aren't and I just dont know anymore

[Axlejames]

And now I don't know why
She wouldn't say goodbye
But then it seems that I
Had seen it in her eyes
And it might not be wise
I'd still have to try
With all the love I have inside
I can't deny
I just can't let it die
'Cause her heart's just like mine
She holds her pain inside
So if you ask me why
She wouldn't say goodbye
I know somewhere inside
There is a special light
Still shining bright
And even on the darkest night
She can't deny
So if she's somewhere near me
I hope to God she hears me
There's no one else
Could ever make me feel
I'm so alive
I hoped she'd never leave me
Please God you must believe me
I've searched the universe
And found myself
Within' her eyes

[Axlejames]

A song by My favorite band

[fishinghat]

Beautiful lyrics AJ.

[invalidusername]

Don't you cry tonight

There's a Heaven above you (baby)...

 

We have so much in common Axle.

[Axlejames]

Awww that we do I feel lost today but a bit empowered I have been praying for the wrong thing instead of praying for God to help me instead I'm praying for God to give me strength I need to mourn my marriage I need to choose to take care of me and my kids now my anxiety is high and my fear feeds doubt but I must press on

[PrincessNutella]

And that is what I call development.

You go AJ.